play Father's Day

She lights up bounds into my arms
and holds tight
I’ve surprised her this alternate Friday
left messages unchecked,
emails queued
and beat the traffic out of town
for no other reason
than this weekend I get to be Daddy.

Four days a month isn’t much
We fill it full of routine, normal things
as if the way things are is the way things ought to be.
We stop for wieners, 2 for a buck
she counts the change
buys a paper for the comics
We’ll stop for groceries
before the hour and a half ride home
I’ll hear about school.
She’ll read, perhaps aloud to me
She’ll nap
prepare herself for Blockbuster and a night up past her bedtime.

I count weekends and months slip by.
She’s not so easy to carry anymore.
I hear her converse with a depth that surprises me
her innocence is getting more complicated
Harry Potter trivia requires research
I want a cigarette
I want to understand
I want all these things to slow down
I just want to be called Daddy.

My ex tells me the big changes are coming.
My lover tells me the Big changes are coming.
somewhere I know the Big Changes are coming
but not now
this weekend we do something different
we stop at a lake
spend an hour
skipping stones.